Tuesday, August 21, 2012

More Thoughts on The Optimistic Child


I've continued my read through the book The Optimistic Child by Martin E.P. Seligman, PhD.  I have felt excitement and motivation as I have read and sometimes re-read the content of this book.  I have found it as an extremely helpful guide in encouraging healthy thinking and perception in situations that occur for our children. I know this upcoming year for us with Zachary in kindergarten will provide even more practice of the activities/discussion situations. The information shared from his research makes very logical sense when I look back on my own life and think about what has given me confidence in my own development.  Most of the activities in the book involve listening to example situations and discussing appropriate perceptions or responses to each.  It may possibly be something to start introducing in early elementary but for some maybe late elementary.

The last couple of chapters of the book discuss helpful ways to begin healthy thinking with babies.  These techniques are obviously very different from the techniques given for older children because "very young children do not yet have the cognitive skills to recognize and dispute their own thoughts" (Seligman, 278). He also explains that there are three crucial principles for giving very young children the skills for optimism and these principles come from research on learned helplessness.  The principles are mastery, positivity and explanatory style.  Today's post will focus on Mastery

Mastery 

Dr. Seligman explains that babies can learn the skill of mastery by experiencing control or outcomes that are contingent on their actions. Babies that shake a rattle laugh maybe because they like the sound but even more so because they are the ones making the sound happen.  They realize when they shake it makes a noise and when they stop it stops also.  This is mastery of an object and is the first building block to self confidence.

On the contrary, "helplessness results from noncontingency, a situation in which the probability of an outcome is the same whether or not a response is made" (Seligman).  Dr. Seligman gives an example of an early experiment with rats.  If a rat gets an electric shock and there is nothing the rat can do to make it stop the rat becomes helpless.  If a rattle or some type of electronic toy made a sound intermittently on its own with no response to the baby pressing a button or shaking it, the baby is helpless over what the rattle does.

It is also important to set the children up for success.  Dr. Seligman suggests this but this is also something that was ingrained in us during our therapy training classes.  If you are helping the child master a fear of the sandbox it would not be suggested to plop them in the middle of a sand pile.  Let them feel a few pieces in their hand.  If you are working towards modifying a behavior work towards a goal that is achievable such as giving a reward to a child for using gentle hands 3 times in a morning rather than requiring that the reward be given only if there have been no mistakes all day.

Dr. Seligman also gives examples of what kinds of toys or activities encourage mastery.  Choices in general encourage mastery because it gives the child a sense of control and accomplishment.


  • Echoing babies actions such as banging a cup on a table.  This reinforces their motor skill development as well as mastery of being able to do so. 
  • Echoing babies sounds/speech.  This reinforces the idea that you think their sounds are good and encourages them to continue the sounds.  These sounds are the first steps to speech. 
  • Blocks, mobiles within reach, tricycles, walkers, crayons and paper, pull pencils, dress up dolls, boxes, baby gyms, books, toys that make sounds when buttons are pressed, trucks, musical instruments, etc.  
An example of something that is NOT a building block for mastery is TV.  In once sense TV is good because it can have very educational lessons.  There is no mastery unless the child practices what the TV has taught.  Excessive TV all day long means no practice for mastery.  Dr. Seligman states that stuffed animals are not a mastery item however I do remember as a kid coming up with many pretend stories with stuffed animals. Perhaps his thoughts are on babies and not the older children in this example. 

Of course this does not mean that we give our kids unlimited options and no structure. Sometimes picking from 1 or 2 things is appropriate and other times when something is unsafe we obviously need to say "no".  

We also know that sometimes we fail and our children will too. This may cause less interest in exploration and an unwillingness to try again.  Our job comes in again here perhaps with assistance and always with positive feedback. 

I hope this has been insightful on giving young children opportunities to build self confidence or mastery.  I will be learning right along with everyone else.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Assumption of Mary Dessert


When August hits every year I hear a few particular associations expressed by people who surround me from day to day.  Most of them have to do with August being miserably hot but there are also quite a few about having so much to do in transition from vacation mode to school year mode.  Smack in the middle of our agitating August on the 15th, our church has an important day of celebration which at first we think, "oh no I forgot that I need to squeeze church into the day too"  but then for me personally as I get in the mindset of this beautiful day I realize that it is nice to take a break from any August frustrations being experienced and enjoy the beauty of our celebration.

On this day of August 15 we celebrate the Assumption of Mary into Heaven.  We believe in our church that God made Mary sinless because she was going to hold his perfect son within her (as the new arc of the covenant) and therefore when she died as sinless she was assumed into heaven, body and soul.  To me she is also a wonderful role model and example of a mother and women.  I look up to her faith, strength through hard times, and overall beauty.  

To give the kids a fun activity for this day I found this dessert on the blog Catholic Icing which is a fantastic blog with a wide variety of hands on activities to help kids learn about faith. It was quite easy and very tasty too!

Heavenly Jello

Follow directions on a box of blue gellatin.  
Allow it to harden halfway in the fridge. 
Scoop cool whip into a glass to make a few clouds.
Add more jello.
Add more clouds.
Repeat
Put back in the fridge.
Eat!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Our New System that Works for Us


So chaos has a tendency to visit homes of families especially those with small children learning about the rights and wrongs/dos and don'ts of our society. I can't think of any parent who hasn't yet said, "We had a few moments today" or "we had an awful morning today" at some time or another. We had some tantrums this morning actually, venti sized for those of you who speak Starbucks. 

We began using just a sticker chart when Zachary turned 3 to help minimize the frustrations.  This worked well for Zachary because he could earn stickers for positive behavior in about 3-5 different areas.  After he earned 20 stickers he could get a prize from the prize box.  For some kids it may have needed to be less.  If he broke any rules he lost stickers and again we generally focused on about 3 rules at a time which he needed practice on. 

Now that he's aging though we needed something new.  We needed something that would incorporate his chores, his stretches that he has to do for his leg muscles (b/c this is NOT a favorite activity even if we do stretches with him), and also respect which encompasses quite a bit (pushing, tone of voice, yelling, following directions.  This chart idea comes from my mother who has been an elementary teacher for...I think 30 years. Thanks to her we have this new system that works so well for us.  Here is how it works.

Every morning and every afternoon Zachary can earn 3 baseballs so 6 in total each day.  If he does his chores he gets a sticker or a check on the baseball for his "chores" ball, etc. If he chooses not to do them he gets an X on the ball. By the end of the week he has to have 80% of the balls in order to earn his prize.  As time goes on we can increase it to 85%.  Timeouts can still be used at any time we feel necessary as well as taking away privileges.  I give 1 warning for most things before he loses the ball or gets something take except for hitting/being physical.  That's just automatic loss or timeout. Earning stickers on the ball or a check is usually motivating enough for him thus far. 

Some disagree with earning prizes but I do have to argue that everything we do as humans we do for some type of payoff.  Children do not think abstractly or long term the way we do.  They need concrete payoffs and visual aids to help them remember. The payoffs will change as they get older as they learn to appreciate the little rewards of doing things such as enjoying a clean room (hopefully that's one of them).  My hope is always that parents find something healthy that works for their family.  Love to hear about new ideas.


Thursday, July 12, 2012

Gabby's Voice through MT




I was browsing through Youtube music therapy videos for my own continuing education and ideas when I came across a 3 part segment of Gabby Giffords in speech therapy and music therapy at The Institute for Research and Rehabilitation in Houston. I had the privilege of observing Meagan Morrow, MT-BC, NMT for the day during the time I was studying music therapy at Sam Houston State University. She is, by the way a phenomenal music therapist. She has a great understanding of how the rehabilitation works, has great rapport with her clients and is a great musician as well. 


This second video shows Mrs. Giffords first during speech therapy and the frustration that comes with having to re-learn speech especially when she is aware of her loss (expressive aphasia which is where she understands language but cannot express it). It then shows the speech pathologist encouraging her to sing a familiar song which follows with Mrs. Giffords singing an entire verse (whereas before she struggled to say one word). It also shows the music therapist and speech pathologist working together to help her succeed. This is a fantastic example of the benefits of music therapy in the area of rehabilitation.  


"Why is it that someone who can't speak, can sing?" 


"Because music is accessed in many areas of the brain, that aren't designated for language", Meagan responded. "We're retreving pitch, melody,rhythm, through all of these different areas and those are working to get your language back".


Language is generally held in the left hemisphere of the brain however music is in both hemispheres as stated in the video.  Therefore music therapy can re route or re-build language through different pathways such as those on the right side of the brain.

Meagan also gives a great analogy of being on the freeway when you are stuck in traffic/at a road block.  If you cannot go that way you can go around and still get to your destination.


Music therapy is not only limited to this type of setting and benefits. Music therapy can enhance motor skills, cognition/memory, communication, and social/emotional skills as well.


Please visit my page "Music Therapy" which is found on the toolbar just below the header to learn more about this amazing service.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Ideas for Family Time




Activities we do as a family listed below

How many times over do you find yourself saying, "my kids are growing up so fast" or "I can't believe my child is already (fill in the blank)?  I look at my kids, excited about watching them grow, yet I just want to stay in some moments forever.  I think about how I always want them to run to me with hugs or be excited to see me after I've been gone or come up to me and say "will you play with me?"  Although every mom needs a break at times, I love being so important to my little ones now.  I almost never (almost) want to be apart from them.  It's nice to be loved.  How can we make this last forever...

My mom and dad are both great examples when it comes to making efforts to stay close to the family.  They both call their parents often.  My mom and her 5 siblings all call each other and seem to feel very comfortable sharing thoughts and feelings with each other.  My dad's family has always lived very near each other.  My husband's family is also a great example.  Every year they gather at the family lake house and do tubing, skiing, cooking, and talking with very little media use. They also eat all the meals together and pray together.  They are so close. Not that either of our families are perfect or don't have issues...but there is definitely a connection.  Now I am trying to do the same for my family.  

We have thousands of responsibilities, interests, goals, and tasks to do in our lifetime.  If anyone reads my Pinterest description they will find that I admit to being interested in having "more hobbies than I can handle".  Fortunately for my family, one of my hobbies IS family itself.  We are all learning how difficult it can be to juggle schedules whether a family is new or old. When we WANT to be close and hang out with each other it's easier to make time since you look forward to it.  So now I'm doing my best to build the bond so we get to that point.

I want my kids to feel like they belong and that they are secure.  I hope that they will feel like they can trust us.  I want them to feel comfortable coming to us when they need to talk.  I want them to know that we love them unconditionally.  So here is to family time and developing strong bonds. 

A great quote from my college priest which is one of my all time favorites- "The most intimate form of community is family" -- Fr. Stephen Payne

So what kinds of things do you like to do with your family? Especially the things that are cheap?




Here is a list of some things that we enjoy doing. 


  1. Family Dinner and telling what we are thankful for
  2. Family game night on Sundays (especially helps when the weekend coming to an end feels like a downer!)
  3. Family music time (dancing, singing or playing instruments)
  4. Family walks or hikes around the city
  5. Picnic lunch
  6. Baking or making new snacks
  7. Playing sports
  8. Gardening
  9. Craft time (whether it's the same craft or we all do different ones. We just walk around Hobby Lobby and get thousands of ideas)
  10. See plays 
  11. Act out stories
  12. Reading a story or chapter book together (maybe add some hot chocolate during the winter)
  13. Go to the library
  14. Family movie night
  15. Camping- (for real, for dinner in the backyard, under the dining room table)
  16. Bowling (Kids bowl free program is available during the summers nationwide)
  17. Family Wii time
  18. House projects (early intervention for young children!)
Here are Things I want to do in the Future
  1. Attend random highschool band, choir, orchestra concerts. Many are probably reasonable or free
  2. Planetarium 
  3. Fruit picking



Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Making Toddler Movie Choices Easy


Movie choice list for my toddler!

A few weeks ago I decided that making this list would be extremely helpful to myself and my daughter. Being a toddler, Adelyn remembers a few shows at a time and forgets about some of her favorite shows, those of which I also really like for her.  This helps her to pick from all of her favorites and also eliminates me having to quickly skip over all of the extra shows on Netflix that are not the most educational or on her level while she is looking with me.  While it can turn into a teachable moment of me explaining to her why we are not watching those shows yet, she enjoys the ease of picking her own show as well with them being in a central location. 

This has "afternoon" on it because shows like Sesame street are easier to play in the afternoon because they are almost an hour long.  In the morning I encourage them to go outside while it is still cool.  Most shows are on both lists though (morning and afternoon). 

I really love several shows on this particular list!

Sunday, July 8, 2012

4th of July

Happy Forth of July! 

We are so thankful for the people who put their heart into obtaining freedom for all of us and that we now can make our own choices here in the USA.

Forth of July Crafts


Fireworks Glitter
Used glitter glue pens


Adelyn's


Zachary's Chalk Fireworks

Forth of July Songs

Stars and Stripes Forever by John Phillip Sousa


This Is July sung to Frere Jacques


4th of July! 4th of July!
Independence Day! Independence Day!
Hear the bands playing.
See our flag waving.
4th of July! 4th of July



Forth of July Baking

  • Strawberries
  • Blueberries
  • Cool Whip
  • Flat angel food cake
  1. Lay angel food cake in a pan/on a plate
  2. Spread cool whip
  3. Cut fruit and place on cake.
  4. You're finished!




Adelyn had a hard time helping with fruit placement so she decorated her own cupcake!














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