Alden Bridge Park by me- Keep Looking Up No Matter What
Well, I believe that it has been over a year since I have conversed with the blog here. So yep, I'm dusting off the blog, uncovering what we shared in the past here and discovering what we can share in the future.
In the past two years my priorities were arranged so that the blog was clear to the bottom. Numerous events have happened in the past couple of years and quite a few of them occurring in the past few months. I have also stayed very busy with our youngest as he grows. I think I may be at a point where I can start posting here again. I'm hoping to post music therapy activities, piano lesson discoveries, hands-on faith teaching, and just fun kid activities.
My youngest is turning two this week. He's at a point where I can do theme activities, crafts, and other fun things that I would like to keep track of on here again. With all of the amazing bloggers out there, I know what we post may not be much comparably, but I like having this here to archive ideas, accomplishments, and experiences. I also like sharing what I can about music therapy, music lessons, family life as I learn along the way.
A New Normal
The past few months have really altered my everyday normal. It began when I turned over directing the Moms Ministry at our church to a new director. Next we had the surprise of finding out we were expecting our 4th child and just after i got over the shock and started planning and getting excited, I miscarried. My dad is finally out of working in a job that has been stressing him out for many years, which is a good thing, but there were many bumps along the way. After these two events happened, we decided it was best for our family to resign my daughter and myself as a leader from American Heritage Girls because of it not fitting the needs of our family which we had done for two years and were pretty involved in. To top off the changes, the music therapist I worked for and was going to do evaluations for this school year, discontinued her contract with the school district. My opportunity there to keep my foot in the door with music therapy by working a few hours a week was gone.
Through this all I have continued work through the challenges my youngest child, Lincoln, who is a very sweet boy, but is very active like my first one was, and is also a very inconsistent sleeper. Nights have been difficult since day 1 with him. It has gotten better overall, but we still face challenges and I cherish the sleep that I get.
A Lesson from the Change
Many of these changes of the summer left me with relief and peace. I feel like I can stand still and breathe. My complete focus is on my three children here on earth and of course my husband. A priest once said to me that we give ourselves our own stress. At first I was unsure of his statement, but when I thought about it, I realized that the stresses that I had at that time were mostly self-imposed because of the activities we chose to be involved in, but also because of the expectations I had for myself. Of course, just taking care of a home and caring for the needs of children can bring stress, but I think it is easy to put pressure on ourselves and pile on the expectations of what we think we should be doing or involved in. I had run this moms ministry for 6 years which was constant thinking ahead, worked a few hours a week while my first two children were young, was involved in American Heritage Girls and Cub Scouts, coached soccer and baseball during the seasons they played and also tried to keep up with my own enjoyments being part of the choral society here and playing intramural soccer. All of those things are things I'm glad that I got to be involved in so it is hard to say what I should have done or not done. I have always believe in self-care first so that we can better serve others, but sometimes I probably did not live out that belief. I know that regardless, these experiences have helped me grow and learn something. And they helped me to greater understand what the priest was trying to say.
Me Now and Looking Forward
After experiencing the events of the summer, especially the miscarriage of our baby, whom we named Baby Hazel, I think that I am more reserved in my daily life. I am still eager to be around other people (actually that energizes and comforts me) and I have a lot of joyous moments, but I seek out moments of quiet, contemplation, and peace much more often. Sometimes I just sit and think or gaze out the window and take in the peace of the outdoors. I sometimes just sit with the thought of Jesus sitting with me. I do sometimes think about what life would have been like with our little baby and I have many moments of grief, but I am also looking ahead to this year and what we will make of it. I am excited to continue building the piano studio I have been running for the past couple of years. Adelyn did join Girl Scouts and I will be helping as one of her leaders which will be my volunteer role this year. Zac is in his last year of elementary school....hard for me to believe that...and I hope to enjoy and take in every moment that I can. I am also looking forward to doing toddler activities with Lincoln and taking him to the library and open gym. I feel like I can do these things more peacefully.
I always hope lessons such as this can be something to pass down and share with my children in hopes of keeping them from making the same mistakes, although I know that in some situations we can share all we want, but humans just have to learn themselves from the experience. Like maybe in parenting. That right there is probably a whole other blog post.